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i wish i can take u somewhere far,but i don't drive a car.there are many things we can do,but i don't know where to start.i can buy you the moon or the stars,but i know i'm just dumb.i want to light up some candles and lay u down on the open field so that we can view the silent sky.i can say nothing more.i have not met you yet.please come hear me,which i think you are too far.you will find me,only if you can see the silence inside..

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

to hear your voice is like tasting honey..miss u soo soo much..trying not to call u..still tryin..i don't want u to be afraid of me..i guess i 've to get over thinking you'll be mine someday & start seeing u as a friend..u r soo sweet..it's so sad i can't get closer to u..looks like this's the way thing are..u r such a joyful person & i'm just this jaded dude..still ignoring my feelings..seeking joy..seeking peace..maybe that made us different..that's why u r a banker..yah! i don't hav offers liked that..

i'm just me..simple..like it or leave it..sorry if i hurt u..my not lost..i'm just walking the path where God wants me to be..yeah yeah! watever u say is soo truth..but u r not there..u duno..i'm a very intense person..u dun understand do u? stop preaching & giving me solutions..cos it hurts..just be a friend not pretend!

why does it always be this way? i still think abt u..thou u made me tear so hard,so disappointed..but its ok..i'm good....

Sunday, December 28, 2003

Still alive..KL here i come..abt 20 days left..hmm..not happy! sour me..just disappointed..

thank u God..i know u r with me..

morning don't look so bright today
as i crawl out of my slumber
the night was quiet with emptiness..
hearing my heart's cry i feel the cut that sunk my heart
as i bleed to sleep hoping it'll heal someday..
lifting my head up..i smell hope..i'll be there one day
i see the stars that twinkle endlessly so does my heart beat..
i seek comfort..i seek strength..
buried within me
lost in my anguish as i seems to vanish..
i'll not hide pride the parasite
fading in the light..



Friday, December 26, 2003

just came back from the show..yeah! scary movie 3 is lame to the core! ha ha! anyhow..a must watch!

Christmas is so quiet & laid back this year..maybe b cos no girlfriend..ya! didn't enjoy myself..went for a party..got home early..hmm..had a great talk with a new friend..well,she likes me..hmm..she's pretty honest with me..then again she's too direct..hmm..some censored question..oh! well..nice to know dat there's at least a gal dat digs me.. ha ha!

yeah! the date with dat artist was awesome..it's just me..dun think she feels anything for me..ya! it hurts..we had dinner..then we ended up at her studio..she's so sweet..me bought her a small cactus+ a cocoa butter shower thing..& of course my solo project VACxine..the cd..

i think she's taken..of course all sweet gals r taken..wats left for me?..man! hurts boy! it's a lie..have to stop believing in dat..can't help it..she's so nice..similar taste..thinkin..color..ehaaaaaaaaaaa! looks like i can only go this far..

feelin emo today..i wana feel better..i'm not ugly! i'm a product of the finest..the one who create everything..

why is it always like dat..?thank u JEsus..for i'm able live!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

wah! finally..done with the play!..ha ha! darn fun sial!..hmm..after 2 days of attending post productions parties..i must say THANK U GOD..soooo much..made nu friends..catch up with long lost friends..i really dun wana work..errrrr! well,hav to go back to reality..met a nice number of chics..ha ha! from artist to law student! CHEEKY ME!

this year the HONG is strong! ha ha ha!

the far east gig on saturday rocks man! almost die of shoikness..THANk U GOD! can't describe the fun..but its absolute darn power! yes of course the play on friday & saturday is power too..lah!

oh! haven't got any present for anyone..well..me this year gona save a bit..ha ha!

me got a date..with an artist which will happen in 16 hrs time..this babe..4 years older than me..but she rocks man..well,not official date of course lah! just having dinner! hope dat it's just me & her..well well..me will update soon!

bottomline..SANTA IS DEAD..cos JESUS REIGN! yeah! dats my man!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

ha ha! BZ BZ..everyday feels so long & tiring..but of course i enjoy wat i do..yes! rehearsing for this play abt a hardcore convict..i'm doing 3 roles..the voice in the toilet,ah teck(2nd biggest baddy in prison) & ah gor..watever! feel sooo actor sial!

yes..the schedule sux..poor management..bad communication too..that causes me to cancel jammin with SKY..sux leh!wah! feel very so sorry for the band!..looks like we gona play without rehearsal! errr! hate playin without practice!

this week is pack! wicked man! ha..i must say this's by far my busiest time..wooo hoo! feel crappy today..more like angsty!i begin to hate the female species a lot more..so full of themselves..i dun mean harm..not to hurt anyone! they got to prove me wrong..the way they think! blah blah blah!

bottomline..just tired of being the person who gives..& gets back little!

Sunday, December 07, 2003

ha ha! bought my new toy..the goth guitar! $500 poorer now..yeah! still moody..duno when this mood swing gona end..did some trax today..i guess i keep to myself pretty much..yes esp.these few days! well..thank u God for the day..met up with shawn& joe..ha ha! had thai food for lunch! yes yes! i'm filming tomoro! wooo hooo! only a 3min set for me..

Friday, December 05, 2003

moody today! well,all i feel is loneliness,so strange..i'm ok when there'r friends..yes! hmm..can't be bother..just gona do stuff..watch trainspotting finally..ha ha! oh! saw this goth malt black sg epiphone at swee lee going for abt $480..joint neck! wah! gona get myself a gift for christmas..looks like i've to pamper myself..so tired of giving & buying stuff for people..call me selfish but i think i'm just treating me better! yah! yah! watever..!

so sad..my aunt went for check up today..results were shocking to know she had internal bleeding in her head!
oh! GOD i pray she'll know u & ya healing hands to be on her..may the blood of Jesus cover her..may ya angels watch over her! i pray for an open heart Lord! i pray for her salvation! thank u LOrd..my saviour ..amen!

did anyone poison the sky today? why does it look so dull & grey? i tired to smile & smell the rain..as soon as the pain faint..

(if the devil reminds u of ya past,u remind him of his future) basically,there's no future for the devil!

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

rehearsal is kool..ha ha ha! 2 weeks left b4 the play starts..today is pretty ok..rain quite a bit..me feelin alrite..still uninspired to do stuff musically..nothing in my head! hmm..lonely & desperate..ha ha ha! hong lah!

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

well..saturday's gig kickass..this's the best gig i ever played..so far!..thanx to the crowd+ God was there..i must say..it is truely His grace..or this gig is a goner..yeah!

sunday..late for church..wah! 45mins late..no cabs + the impatient me..arrgh! don't work! lunch was great..chicken rice again..yes played carrom with UNcle sniper..the 2 Jons,me ..charlie..no i mean kevin..ha ha ha! it was hirlarous! end up me meeting my dad..well..ok lah!

oh! hmm..me cheongster?..a bit wrong leh!..hip & trendy..i thought i was already one..how shld i view this..ha ha ha! got mohawk = punk? no rite! he he he! got dick= man? no really rite? ha ha ha! well..i dunno wat to do? no inspiration for this season + feelin so lonely inside..man! i wonder why? ha ha! just gotta laugh at everything! i dunno anymore..for sure..i wana be happy& i'll fight for my joy..regardless how long this's gona take..yah! it's taking darn long..ha ha ha!

yes! rehearsal went well today..thou work super shag sia! lets not continue work stuff..HAPPINESS..doing something different..feels good thou..thank God for everything! thank u! hmm..more gigs coming on this month..wah! great!

ok! sy still feels crappy here & there..i'll fight for my joy..i wana maintain this level..thou it's so hard tryin to be single..u know wanting to be attach & stuff..ya ya! this whole human touch thingy..i'm so tired being so crap..i can't change how i feel..but God can change the heart..i'll be Symon someday..yes the real him..not the tired bastard!

oh! milton the spam king is back! ha ha ha! luv u bro!

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